Truly Human
by HappyHowler4myLuver
Summary: My version of Haymitch's thoughts at the end of Part III, Chapter 26 in Mockingjay. *One Shot. Rated T for Haymitch's language*


**Haymitch's thoughts at the end of Part III, Chapter 26 of ****Mockingjay**

**I own nothing of the ****Hunger Games Series**

Coin stared expectantly, waiting for the girl on fire to give her consent. I watched her as well, anticipating her answer. I thought back to the last few days, imagining everything she'd witnessed leading up from infiltrating the Capitol with Squad 451 to the exploding parachutes. The little girl she'd gone into the Hunger Games for, both physically and emotionally, was now dead because of this rebellion. Not to mention the hundreds of children killed in the final battle, though it resembled more an animalistic stampede or a hunting trip. Either way, humans weren't alone. Sometime through the years, we transformed from instinctual beasts into an intellectual species, and back into raging animals. Perhaps we never really changed at all. Like the Capitol citizens, we covered ourselves in paint and make-up to cover our true selves.

Katniss continues to stare at the flower sitting on the table. I, along with everyone else, wait for her to reply. "I vote yes… for Prim."

I can hear the responses though no one has spoken yet. "Haymitch, it's up to you," Coin informs me.

Peeta is immediately on my case, trying to convince me to join his allegiance. Dammit, couldn't the boy keep quiet while I thought? But there's no need. I vividly recall my own Hunger Games, and then their own suffering. I never really gave much thought to the two kids at first, but in the end, I can't betray either one. So I choose the one who reminds me of what I could have been had I ever wanted to change, ever wanted to throw down the bottle.

"I'm with the Mockingjay," I say.

Peeta's angry with me. Oh well. Beetee and Annie never really gave much thought to me in the first place. I find myself standing up and leaving the room.

The rest of the day goes on, a mixture of anxiety and relief as the execution creeps up. I take to my room, dig around for the drink, and sink into a hazy bliss. Every so often I recall the decision I chose, and ignore the desire to feel emotion. I'm willingly sending another group of kids into the blood bath, with no hope of ever seeing their family again. No friends, no last minute goodbyes. Torn to bits or mentally destroyed on public television.

I feel like a bastard. I am a bastard. Or perhaps, I'm only human.

I finish off the alcohol and take another one out. I finish that one off too before I head outside to the deafening crowd. I stand with the Victors, but remain out of sight. So the evil president will finally be killed, just so another one can take his place. At least Snow will be gone, just like we all wanted. In fact, we even helped the next killer to the throne.

I wish I'd brought a drink with me.

Soon, I hear the cheers and look up to see Katniss step out, gazing nonchalantly at the crowd. Or maybe she's lost in another mental confusion, taking in what she is about to do. Without missing a beat, Ex-President Snow is lead out of the mansion. Johanna and Enobaria go insane with rage, calling out names I'd yet to hear myself while Peeta, Annie, and Beetee watch on. I'm surprised Annie is even here. Just as Katniss draws her bow, the crowd grows deathly silent. I feel my own eyes stare, not at Snow, but at my Mockingjay's expression.

Can she do it? Can she kill the man who murdered hundreds and allowed innocent children to suffer for their ancestor's crime?

Without another second, the bow flies. It takes far too long for people to realize who was shot. I stare, in disbelief, as Coin lies on the ground. Dead. Dead from an arrow from Katniss' bow.

_Isn't Karma a bitch_, I wonder as I watch the guards take Katniss away, screaming and clawing. Just like a feral cat. Snow doesn't last much longer, laughing till his own death. Like a damned hyena. Peeta is suddenly gone, having taking away the last means of death for his lover. Like a selfish mate. I watch, frozen, as the scene replays in my mind. Finally gathering my legs, I return to my room, breaking into a fit I can't decide is crying, laughing, or screaming.

Most likely all three.

I try to figure her reasoning, and decide she just doesn't like to listen to orders. Kill this man. _No, _she was probably thinking, _I can kill this woman and the man will be taken out by someone else if I can't finish the job. _Typical Katniss, typical Mockingjay. I drown myself in another drink. I'll have to see her again if she can't discover a way to commit suicide.

My mind drifts to out next meeting, because I know that they won't allow her to go. We, as the only creatures capable of comprehending death, and we spend our entire lives hoping to remain immortal. The first time we ask for death to stop our suffering, we suddenly can't handle the idea that everything we control can be ended with darkness. They will make her live because it's the only thing she doesn't want. And just like all the children outside the mansion, most likely dreaming of the future, we exterminate them like simple insects.

We are, in the end, animals. Human is just the name of our species. Despite our intellect, we ultimately strive for survival. However, once a person desires death, we consider it an insult to all the work we've completed to remain above the other creatures on this planet.

We, as humans, have a higher mentality of intellect over every other species. And for that reason, we remain below even the most instinctual beasts.

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**~HappyHowler4myLuver**


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